I originally began writing this post before I began writing on Substack. I thought it might serve as an introductory post, except for one thing.
I suffer from a severe case of Imposter Syndrome. Even when I saw many other writers writing about imposter syndrome, I couldn’t bring myself to share that I too am a member of the club.
My work, my career as a book publisher and as a writer, is where Imposter Syndrome hits the hardest.
I have lived and breathed writing and publishing daily for more than 15 years, (and part time for decades prior to that) and yet, most days, I still feel like an imposter that will eventually be outed. My journey has been unusual because I’ve never been one to color inside the lines. As one of my old bios used to say, I am an “inside-out, upside-down” kind of person, and at times, seem to have done life “backwards.”
A timeline of some of the highlights will explain this best, for the scope of decades to be absorbed in a glance. I include some of my personal milestones as well, because it all melds into who I am, who I’ve become.
1983 – Became a mother
1984 – Became a Christian
1984 – First paid writing job, writing book reviews for a magazine
1988 – Became a mom of two
1992 – Founded and operated a weekly newspaper
2005 – Became a full-time writer and editor
2007 – Kindle and KDP launched
2009 – Published a book, an anthology, for the first time
2010 – Developed severe chronic anemia that would last 7 years
2011 – Launched my first traditional publishing company
2012 – Launched our first book as a publisher
2012 – Launched a second traditional publishing company, as an imprint
2012 – Went back to college to finish earning my bachelor’s degree
2014 – Launched a subsidy (now hybrid) publishing company
2014 – Earned my bachelor’s degree in biblical and theological studies
2014 – Started grad school to earn my MFA in Screenwriting
2016 – Handed over the reins of the two traditional presses to a new publisher
2017 – Anemia ended
2017 – Life crashed around me
2019 – Life crashed on me
2019 – Six Month Road Trip
2020 – World crashed around all of us – pandemic
2020 – Go West His Momma Said, our travelogue, was published
2022 – Pickle in My Pocket, a children’s book I co-wrote with my husband, was published
2023 – Breast cancer diagnosis, surgery, and treatments
2024 – The Pink Pages and Days to Remember were published [affiliate links]
2025 – Diagnosed with Graves’ Disease
As a freelancer: Over the course of several years, I had literally hundreds of articles (possibly thousands at this point) published in magazines, newspapers, and online markets; I wrote and edited full-time under contract for a large online company for two years. I freelance edited for clients and coordinated a series of workshops for writers.
As a publisher: From 2012 to the present, I’ve published more than 400 books for authors and clients (and a few of my own). Some have won awards, some have been great sellers, some have touched and changed lives (and at least one book saved a life, literally.) I’ve been honored to have a front-row seat as writing careers have launched, and so privileged to be a small part of so many beautiful journeys.
Yet when I look at that timeline, the imposter syndrome in me sees all the flaws in my story, the gaps, the struggles, the challenges, all the hard stuff not mentioned. That side of me sees the mistakes, the failures, the odd choices. I see the people I have disappointed, the opportunities missed, the potential unfulfilled.
But the healing side of me can finally offer myself grace and can view the timeline from a different perspective. This healing side still sees and acknowledges the mistakes, the failures, the odd choices, the people I have disappointed, the opportunities I missed. But now, I also see the growth, the successes, and the immense blessings I’ve experienced along the way – blessings that far, by far, outweigh all else. I see resilience, strength, adaptability, flexibility, compassion, and understanding that I didn’t have before. I see someone who learned to fully rely on God in ways I never thought possible. (Yes, I truly am a FROG. Iykyk.)
I see friends and family who’ve walked the journey with me, or those I met somewhere in the middle, who remain at my side – I am humbled and awed and so immensely grateful that God allowed such precious people to be part of my life.
All that I’ve achieved and accomplished was only by God’s Grace, His immense help, and through His infinite patience and mercy with me, through His work in my life and in my heart. The journey has taught me that I can, and I do, trust Him fully, with whatever comes my way. He has never left my side, even when I didn’t deserve Him or seek Him.
If you’ve been part of my journey at any point, please know how grateful I am for your presence in my life. You’ve blessed me beyond measure.
Thanks for reading! Continued prayers for your journey!
I may be “away” but I’m always reading your posts. You have quite a story! 😊🙏🏼❤️